Revive us O Lord

Is there anyone out there who has the same feeling I have, that we can't rest content with the level of Christian life most of us settle for? I suppose I'm feeling this more intensely lately because of the growing evil in the world as the last day approaches, feeling my spiritual weakness, seeing the spiritual weakness of the church at large, which is a sad testimony I suppose, since we should want more of God in any time or place.

I've never been content with my state of weakness, at least intellectually, although I've been confused, discouraged and I suppose just plain lazy about doing anything about it. From time to time I read of those who have moved on to real power, power over sin and self, power for fruitful service to the Lord, and I long for it but the longing easily dissipates under the sense of the arduousness of the task, until the next encounter with such examples.

And now the state of things these days has a peculiar urgency to it that drives me to more desire for it if not yet more actual doing of it. It is an uphill battle even getting myself to focus on the problem, but occasionally I struggle through from a foggy start in prayer to some clarity and freedom in seeking Him in prayer. There is SO much I want to hear from the Lord about these days.

Certain self-indulgences HAVE to go. I'm such a lazy self-indulgent overeating oversleeping American, so used to my comforts and entertainments. How hard it is to purge myself of them or even tame them, especially as I have so little faith that I can overcome, at my age with such bad habits of sloth, so little faith that the Lord would guide and strengthen me in this effort. O woman of little faith. But I desire it enough to be writing about it, and making more efforts toward it lately. Could the Lord take a lazy bum in her sixties and make anything of her even somewhat useful to Him?

Power. The power of God. NOBODY I KNOW HAS THIS POWER. It doesn't matter how good the preaching appears to be in a particular church, how dedicated the Christians are to their service for God, and I don't mean to play any of that down, I know it is true, but in spite of all of it the power we see in the early church is just not there.

Shouldn't it be there? I'm not talking about speaking in tongues or giving prophetic words in church. I'd really rather there were none of that since it so often has come with the lack of the better kind of power I'm talking about. I'm talking about the power of holiness of God's people, the power to witness, a witness that draws people to God by the power of God and not our own power, the living water Jesus promised to believers. The first love of Christ most of us have lost over time. The power that is seen in genuine revivals. I'm talking about power to obey all the difficult commands, to die to self, to bear our cross, to rejoice in all things, to rejoice under persecution, to be anxious for nothing. Power of fearlessness, power to love our enemies, the love that casts out fear, power to bless our enemies. Power that is God's alone. I don't have it to any degree I can rest content with, to put it mildly, and I don't see it in others.

I know there is the idea that we are to slowly grow in the things of the Spirit, but I have to admit I haven't seen that happen to anyone either. I see growth in knowledge, growth in doctrine, a little growth in self control that seems to come more from such learning than from the Spirit and so on, but not growth in and through the Holy Spirit Himself.

But maybe I'm just an impatient American. I haven't much time, I could be dead tomorrow. But I believe God will work in His people in a mighty way if we seek Him diligently for it. Even seeking Him diligently must come from Him, and it's so easy to give up the effort, but we need it, we need it, we need it. I'm trying to seek this. I'll seek it alone or I'll seek it with anyone who shares my assessment and my desire. Oh Lord, hear and help. Amen.